Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 July 2017

Anxiety Talks|Notebooks and Journals

Hello, my lovelies!!
Now I know I only posted a blog yesterday but this is gonna be a regular thing! I'm getting on this blogging stuff!!

So let's get down to it.

So the biggest way I filter all of my thoughts are writing. Writing in my journal is the only way I have been able to get through this past month. When I am really struggling with a certain something (don't really want to go into it right now) I write a letter. I tell him everything I am feeling and everything I want to tell him. As soon as the pen hits the paper I feel my worries and anxieties leave me.
I find I often cry as I write, but to me, this is just another form of release.

To me a journal also needs to represent you, you need to love it it is an extension of your mind. Because or this I always get the best. I love that new notebook smell so I buy notebooks all of the time. I am slightly obsessed.

So when two brilliant Notebook companies told be they were gonna send me some notebooks I might have done a little dance!!! A massive thank you to Noted in Style and Mount Street Printers for making this post possible. How beautiful are these books!







I also have a discount code for all of you guys. A brilliant company called Unique Planners have let me give you a fantastic 15% discount. Just use code HAYLEY15
Now if you like more contemporary notebooks check out The Bookery and make sure you use discount code HAYLEY15 for an awesome 15% discount.

I am also going to give one of you readers two of these amazing notebook!!! All you need to do is comment on this post!!! Giveaway ends on the 31st July 2017 at midday.

As Always
Love Hayley Beth XXX



Noted In Style
Mount Street Printers
Twitter
Instagram
Snapchat: lovehayleybeth
Email

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

The Story Behind The Business: The Cuddle Bed Company.

Welcome to a brand new series of blogs whereby I get to introduce you to fantastic businesses and tell you their story. Now I must warn you this post is about an incredibly inspirational woman who's story might just bring you to tears. She has a brilliant JFDI attitude and doesn't let anything get in her way.

Introducing Chrissie Lowery. Like many people Chrissie lived a perfectly normal life, a career in care managing residential homes for adults with autism that then evolved into a career in nursing running the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit at Wotton Lawn for five years. She then went on to work as a Clinical Nurse Specialist with the Youth Support Team. But all of this started to change after falling pregnant with her beautiful twins Zack and Amber. At about five months into the pregnancy, Chrissie was admitted to hospital with liver failure. Shortly after this Amber had decided she was ready for this world and out she popped on out. Zack wasn't quite ready, happily cwtched up in the warmth. Not wanting a caesarean Zack was given a little encouragement and eventually, he graced the world with his presence. Due to their early birth, the twins were incubated and it was quickly realised they were not well. At six weeks old they were diagnosed with CMV, a virus that is deadly for unborn babies. It was too late to treat them. They subsequently spent three months in intensive care.

Fast forward to 2013 both Amber and Zack are living happy healthy lives. They even have a little brother Jaycob. This is the year the story really begins, all three children are at the local village school, Zack gets dubbed the 'naughty kid' and is diagnosed with Autism and Jacob is getting severely bullied. If this wasn't enough Chrissie falls ill with Chronic illness causing her to spend many days in bed and on the sofa. The only thing she could do is pull the children out of school and educate them at home.

At this point, Zack hadn't been sleeping great and Chrissie having plenty of time at home discovered this great world of the internet!!! After doing a bit of research she found a basic version of what she now calls a Cuddle Bed. Sat on the floor in her living room with her mum's old sewing machine she taught herself how to sew and so the first Cuddle Bed was made. Since that day Zack has always slept through the night. Chrissie now has the IPO rights to her design.

I guess you could say that was Chrissie's light bulb moment. She then went on to make both Amber and Jacob one and thought you know what I quite enjoy this. On the off chance that others might like the look of them she posted them onto a couple of for sale and wanted groups on every body's favourite Facebook. I guess you could say it exploded with friends and family members all wanting one.

In 2014 it was realised that Chrissie had a B12 deficiency, arthritis, malabsorption syndrome, fibromyalgia and Carpal Tunnel. She had to give up work. This is something she has come to terms with in the last few months.

Needing help and direction Chrissie took part in the Gloucestershire Enterprise Scheme. She travelled around the southwest visiting schools and nurseries introducing herself and Cuddle Beds. Due to being on this scheme she wasn't allowed to make any money off of the beds made for these establishments, but it gave her a wealth of experience and she learned so much valuable information.

Realising this was the next step in her life she rented the corner of a local pet store. All three children were now back in mainstream education and Zack was getting the support he really needed.

In the coming months, Chrissie focused her energies into making Cuddle Beds a Success. She auditioned for dragons den (although not successful at the time she has been asked to try again), and created her own Facebook page and her first website.

In 2016 the twins were featured in Forbes magazine in a Facebook live video and Chrissie also won Dragonesses Den, a brilliant accolade for a great businesswoman. Chrissie also hired a business coach who has helped her find confidence in recording Facebook live videos amongst many other things.

The whole reason she made her first Cuddle Bed was to help her Son. In light of this Chrissie contacted The National Autistic Society and had a brilliant article written. She gained a lot of interest from parents of Autistic children and was able to do what she really wanted; help people. The article also caught the eye of Catherine Bailey, Creator of Parents in Need, who has since added Cuddle Beds link to the Parents in Need website.

Now saying that 2017 is Chrissie's year is definitely an understatement. First of all, she moved out of the corner of that pet store and moved into an actual unit! She got invited to an event for amazing women and had to chance to meet Patsy Palmer. She won Theo Paphitis Small Business Sunday, meaning she can now sell her products through his exclusive site. In the last week, her trademark came through making Cuddle Beds completely hers. But what I think is really amazing is that on the very day that Chrissie got in contact with me she had her story published on The Story Exchange. I felt incredibly honoured to know that despite all of that she wanted to meet me and let me tell her story.

What really grabbed my attention was not only what she has already accomplished but her dream. Her one true goal. It had always been to help people. To do this she has come up with the idea to create a sensory Cuddle Bed. The idea is that each Sensory Bed will vary depending on the child it is for, with different fabrics, scents, sounds and even lights! In order to help Chrissie with her prototype, she has created a survey. Not only would she appreciate it if you could fill it in but I would love it if you could also. You can find it here and it doesn't matter if you have children or not all opinions will be greatly accepted.

Meeting Chrissie was an experience I will never forget. I left her and her three beautiful children filled with inspiration I even had a little cry I was so overwhelmed. She has a brilliant Just Fucking Do It attitude and doesn't let anything get in her way. Despite the fact she is in pain a lot of the time and has trouble with her memory she has raised five children and created a business I am proud to say I am supporting.

This a story I believe everyone needs to hear. I know that it has made me realise that I really do need to go out and grab life by the balls and own my story. I hope reading her story inspires you and if you would like to purchase a Cuddle Bed or one of the many other products she makes please visit her website and give her Facebook page a little like.




Thank you, Chrissie, for giving me this amazing opportunity it really does mean the world to me. Gosh, I'm starting to tear up writing this!

As always
Love Hayley Beth XXX






Twitter
Instagram
Snapchat: lovehayleybeth
Email

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

The Next Step in my Blogging Dreams



Hello there!!!

So exciting things are occurring. First of all I have created a Facebook page that will work to support my blog and will also be a place where by I will post all of my writing projects including garage door blogs and any other opportunities that come my way.

Secondly I have made a bit of an investment. I have bought myself a second hand DSLR camera. Photography is already a hobby of mine. I take my Instax mini 8 with me where ever I go!!!
I'm hoping this will improve my photography skills and help me to produce better quality pictures to share with you!!!

I am also beginning the process of branding my blog. This includes the creation of a logo and hopefully a complete redesign. I'm very fortunate to know an amazing person who happens to be a very close friend, who is helping me with all of this. Hopefully I can twist his arm and get him to help me use my camera!!!

These last few weeks have been hard. A lot of things have happened that have knocked me down and I have struggled to get back up. I have been having panic attacks and just generally not feeling myself. This time has also given me a chance to reevaluate my life and what I really want to achieve. I want to do something that makes me happy and something I really enjoy. Because of this I have been putting myself out there. I have advertised my want for writing experience and opportunities on Gumtree and have been applying for I don't know how many free lance and part time blogging and content writing opportunities. I've even been going for jobs outside of Gloucestershire.

So now for a little bit of a plea!!!
Do you run a small business or charity? Do you need someone to write your blog for you or would you like to be featured on my blog? Or maybe you know someone else who would be interested in what I am offering? I would love to come and visit you and find out more. See you hard at work making your dreams come true.
If this is something that appeals to you please email me or message me via my Facebook page. All I ask is that if you are out of the Gloucestershire area you can contribute to my travel costs and maybe throw in an iced coffee!!!

This is my dream and I am working so so hard to make it come true.







Twitter
Instagram
Snapchat: lovehayleybeth
Email

Sunday, 18 June 2017

Thank You For Giving Me a Kick Up the Butt

I wrote this a little while ago. I was in a pretty bad place too scared to even leave the house. The reason I didn't post it originally is because I didn't quite understand why I had written it. It was one of those moments where the words just appeared on the screen, I wasn't even aware that I was typing.
I shared these words with a close friend of mine and he made me realise that there are so many paths that I can take, just because I haven't discovered what I want to do it doesn't mean my life is over.

Since that conversation I have done a lot of thinking and dreaming and I have decided to pursue writing. I understand it is an incredibly hard scene to crack but I'm just going to give it a go.
I've also realised that there is nothing keeping me in Gloucester, so if an opportunity arises that requires me to move I am going to go for it.

So here it is. I'm not sure what it is but it is here for you to read.


I'm sat here staring in to space feeling lost in this world.
Not sure what to do or where to go.
I see people, they know what path they are on and how to get to where they are going.
I am lost.
I am confused.
I am 21 without focus.
Even my tears have no meaning.
Where did I go wrong?
What did I do?
I have no voice or no feeling.
I am numb with no sense.
Where do I go and where did I come from?
Is there meaning to this life or am I just waiting to die?






Twitter
Instagram
Snapchat: lovehayleybeth
Email

Monday, 16 January 2017

Self Harm and Suicide | Anxiety Talks

Hello  my lovelies.
Now this is a bit of a hard post for me to write as it is very personal. And Mum I am very sorry if this upsets you.
So as we all know that subject like self harm and suicide are very common place in today's media. Unfortunately too many young people are thinking about suicide and are self harming. Like all of my posts I am going to share my experiences. Just as a disclosure this is not me asking for sympathy nor attention seeking.
This blog was inspired by someone very close to me going through a bit of a hard time and the advice I gave to her.
When I was first told I suffer from anxiety I didn't know what to do. I couldn't control it and felt I needed to punish my self for it. It was also a way for me to prevent myself from panicking. Now I never cut my self instead I would scratch myself until I bled. It has taken me some time to stop self harming but i guess I discovered it didn't actually do any good if anything it was preventing me from actually learning to control my anxiety.
Now I am very lucky to not feel truly suicidal, there have been days where I wonder if there is any point to life or if anyone would care if I died today. Unfortunately I know several people who have not only considered taking their lives but have also made an attempted at doing so.
When I know a friend is feeling that way I remind them that if they were to go ahead with it what in life they are going to miss out on. For example they will never get the chance to fall in love, they will never get the chance to watch their kids grow up, they will never get to travel the world. They have so much to live for, so live it!
Never ever give up as you never know what good is just around the corner.
If any of you are feeling this way I want you to go to your best friend or your mum and tell them. Talk to them. If you do not feel you can talk to anyone please visit the Samaritans website or call them at  116 123.



Please stay strong

Love Hayley Beth XXX

Friday, 6 January 2017

Over Thinking | Anxiety Talks

Part of my anxiety is that I over think literally everything. For example I could go on a date and then not hear from the guy, my brain will spend 100% of its time creating scenarios (some of which are so unrealistic it is stupid) as to why he hasn't replied and I end up believing them.
Over thinking is definitely the one thing that affects me more than anything else. I am scared that it will prevent me from meeting people and taking on opportunities that I will never get offered again.
I think that it is one thing that I don't know how to control and that is definitely what bugs me the most and get me down.
If anyone does have any advice as to how i can control this I would be so appreciative. How do you stop it?



I know this was just a short post today, but this is just something that has really been bugging me the last week or so.

As always
Much love

Hayley Beth XXX


Facebook
Twitter
Depop
Shop
Instagram
Snapchat: lovehayleybeth

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

My New Years Resolutions

Happy New Year!!!!
Now honestly who is already fed up of hearing people say that to you, let me so those hands!!!
Now I don't usually set myself any new years resolutions as I am just really rubbish at sticking to them, so this year I am going to do something a little different!!!
I am going to set myself some rules to follow. And to make sure I am reminded of them everyday I have made my self a cool little print out that I will pop in a cool frame and hang on the wall.
This year I want to be happy, I don't want my anxiety to be getting the better of my any more. I want to want to get out of bed every day and accomplish something. But most of all I want to laugh a genuine laugh.

In order to do this I'm going to follow these rules:


  • Do one thing every day that makes you happy
  • Don't take everything personally 
  • Don't let anyone dull your sparkle 
  • Think positive and positive things will happen
  • Chase your dreams


There are also a couple of goals I want to achieve this year. 
The first thing is I want to learn to drive. I am 20 and currently rely on my best friend to drive us everywhere and really it would be nice for us to drive somewhere with out the risk of being killed!!!
Secondly I want to travel abroad. This does mean I will need to get my butt in to gear and actually apply for my passport but I really do need to escape this country for a little while.
And my final goal is to be able to finally start thinking about getting my very own place. As much as I love living in a house share it isn't my own space. I want to be able have parties and actually have my family over for Christmas instead of them having to put up with me!!!



Hopefully I can achieve all of this!!! 
I hope you enjoyed reading this post! Comment what your new years resolutions are and we can see if we can stick at them together!!!!

Much love
Hayley Beth XXX


Facebook
Twitter
Depop
Shop
Instagram
Snapchat: lovehayleybeth

Friday, 23 December 2016

Happiness | Anxiety Talks

What is happiness?
Is it a feeling or is it a state of being?
What I do know is that happiness can be temporary. It can be incredibly hard to maintain. Your own negative self conscious can impact it and so can the world around you.
For example when you cant stop smiling because that one person has messaged you, but then you brain decides nah we ain't having this and every now and again drops doubts in to you head. 'don't be silly he is only after one thing' 'he will get bored of you soon just you wait and see'
Its when you listen to these doubt you no longer feel happiness.
If you suffer from anxiety you will listen to these doubts and then you will start over thinking about them. they manifest in your brain so much that they become real. If you let this happen is happiness really possible?
Of course it!!
You just need to learn to shout shut up!!! I'm still learning that but it is starting to work. OK
I understand that maybe your brain is telling you the truth but in my experience If you don't try how can you know if happiness is a possible feat?
Next time your brain shouts 'what if' shout back 'shut up'

Love Hayley Beth


Facebook
Twitter
Depop
Shop
Instagram
Snapchat: lovehayleybeth

Monday, 28 March 2016

Goodbye to those who loved me....

So I tried writing this on the 16th of march but it was just too hard.
I've taken some time at I have finally got my head straight.
The 16th of march was my sisters 18th birthday. The 16th of march was also the last day I talked to my family. I had finally lost it, I had finally had enough.
I had enough of always coming second fiddle to my sister, I had enough of my dad not even talking to me even when i was sat right next to him and I was fed up of never being good enough for my mum.
I honestly would rather have no family than live in a family where by lets face it im not liked all that much.
I am just lucky I have great friends and work colleagues who I can talk to when I need to.

Sorry for the daily blogging to be a bit of a flop but I will be back tomorrow with another blog which will be a hell of a lot more cheerful than this one!!!!

As always
Love Hayley Beth XXX

Saturday, 5 March 2016

Sorry...

So I've kinda neglected you guys for a little while. I'm sorry I just haven't had time to blog...
So what has happened since my last geeky post?
Well I had an awesome Christmas with my gorgeous boyfriend who spoilt me rotten, I had a spontaneous valentines and I am moving stores!!!
Although a lot is going well at the moment anxiety keeps rearing it's evil head and unfortunately it is starting to get me down. I haven't been able to hide my down days so much and Ben has seen things I never wanted him to see. My down days are pretty hard to come out of as well. So because of this I have decided that I will start to post every day. It might not be a big entry like this one but it will be something that made me smile. It could be a photo, a quote or a news article. 
So starting tomorrow I will start posting everyday. It may be the only thing I have smiled at in a day so I want to share it!!!

Thank you for still reading my posts while I have been gone.
As Always 
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Sunday, 30 August 2015

I've Been Struggling

Right now I feel as though I am of no use to anyone.
Having to struggle with money is incredibly stress full and I wish I hadn't chosen to move out. I know my life wouldn't be as it is now and I wouldn't have met all the friends I have now like James or Aimee or even Ben. But I would never want anyone to struggle like I have these past few months. I try to be strong about it and pretend that everything is ok but I'm really struggling at the moment. Last month I survived off just one meal a day. It caused me to be in an awful mood the majority of the time and I didn't have the energy for anything some days I wanted to just cry and cry but I couldn't is didn't have the  energy to do so.
I know this has put a strain on my relationship at the moment anyone with a brain would have ended it a long time ago but that is what Jack did and I want to be stronger than him. I don't want to give up just because things get a little bit tough.
I realise now I shouldn't have taken my self off of my anti depressants and not being able to afford them was a silly excuse not to go and get them I know my family would have helped if I had let them know what was going on but I couldn't. I need them to see that I am able to live on my own. I chose this life now I have to live it.
Even when I have no food in the cupboard I don't ask for help I know this annoys Ben and he worries about me because of it but I'm just not one who is capable of asking for help. I was raised not to let people know when I have issues to show the world you are strong even if you are falling apart on the inside. And although that is my greatest strength I know it is also my greatest weakness.
I have started to have panic attacks again an I often find my self waking up in the middle of the night crying. I  don't want to be like that again but I don't want to take medication at the same time. I want to be able to pull my self up out of this one.  I will need support but I know that I have a lot of people around me that love and care about me even if I don't always let them in I know they are there.
I'm going to start seeing my family more and I'm going to start eating properly. I'm not going to keep everything so bottled up and I'm going to start opening up to people especially my parents who don't know about me struggling.
I do miss living with them but i could never go back. things are no longer the same any more and they never will be. I tore my family apart. Moving out hurt my mum more than anything in this world and i am so so sorry for that. I know I ruined my relationship with my dad and I hate myself for the fact he barely talks to me any more even when I go round to see him.
I do love my family with all of my heart and I know that moving out was the biggest mistake I ever made. But I made it and I have to live with that.
I guess writing this was the easiest way for me to let people know what was going on in my head at the moment. I hope it makes people see why I have been the way I have for a while now and I am trying to sort my life out but it just takes time to work things out sometimes.
Love Hayley Beth xxx