It's Over

Today me and Ben made the decision to end things.
We never even made it out. He gave up. It absolutely breaks my heart to know I can no longer just pick up the phone to talk to him, To know that we will never argue over whether dragon ball z is a cartoon or anime. To know that when I get scared he will no longer be there to comfort me.
It breaks my heart to hear him cry. To tell me he will never get over me. To hear him say he has failed because he is incapable to make me happy.
We were together for nearly a year and a half. In that time we have made so many happy memories that I will quite simply treasure for the rest of my life.
I remember dancing in his room to rubbish music and laughing until I couldn't breath. Sitting down every week to watch tattoo fixers and the last leg. Debating subject he knew nothing about but doing it any way so he could see the smile on my face when I knew I had won. Seeing how proud he was of me whenever I sold one of my necklaces.
I look back and honestly I don't think I ever appreciated the little things. I don't think I ever even noticed.
Ben has quite frankly stolen a piece of my heart. I know I will treasure our love for the rest of my life.
It is going to take me a hell of a long time to move forward and I will cry from time to time but one day I know we will both be happy be it together or living out separate lives I know I will always love him.
Goodbye my Love XXX

An Update On My Dilema

So first of all a massive thank you to everyone who offered me your support. Sometimes it really does help to talk to complete strangers!!!
So I thought I would give you a little update on the situation.
Me and my boyfriend have talked and in all honesty at this present moment this relationship is coming to a crashing halt. It quite frankly does not work anymore.
But I have said that if things do not change with in a week then it will be for deffo over.
So far he has been quite good he texts when he says he will text ect but I still don't feel any different. There is still a part of me that knows that the good boyfriend act wont last. I know that if we stay together in a few weeks or a month things will go back to shit again.
But we will see. he is planning some sort of super surprise day on Tuesday so I will let you all now how that goes.

As always
Love Hayley Beth XXX

Goodbye to those who loved me....

So I tried writing this on the 16th of march but it was just too hard.
I've taken some time at I have finally got my head straight.
The 16th of march was my sisters 18th birthday. The 16th of march was also the last day I talked to my family. I had finally lost it, I had finally had enough.
I had enough of always coming second fiddle to my sister, I had enough of my dad not even talking to me even when i was sat right next to him and I was fed up of never being good enough for my mum.
I honestly would rather have no family than live in a family where by lets face it im not liked all that much.
I am just lucky I have great friends and work colleagues who I can talk to when I need to.

Sorry for the daily blogging to be a bit of a flop but I will be back tomorrow with another blog which will be a hell of a lot more cheerful than this one!!!!

As always
Love Hayley Beth XXX