It's Over

Today me and Ben made the decision to end things.
We never even made it out. He gave up. It absolutely breaks my heart to know I can no longer just pick up the phone to talk to him, To know that we will never argue over whether dragon ball z is a cartoon or anime. To know that when I get scared he will no longer be there to comfort me.
It breaks my heart to hear him cry. To tell me he will never get over me. To hear him say he has failed because he is incapable to make me happy.
We were together for nearly a year and a half. In that time we have made so many happy memories that I will quite simply treasure for the rest of my life.
I remember dancing in his room to rubbish music and laughing until I couldn't breath. Sitting down every week to watch tattoo fixers and the last leg. Debating subject he knew nothing about but doing it any way so he could see the smile on my face when I knew I had won. Seeing how proud he was of me whenever I sold one of my necklaces.
I look back and honestly I don't think I ever appreciated the little things. I don't think I ever even noticed.
Ben has quite frankly stolen a piece of my heart. I know I will treasure our love for the rest of my life.
It is going to take me a hell of a long time to move forward and I will cry from time to time but one day I know we will both be happy be it together or living out separate lives I know I will always love him.
Goodbye my Love XXX

The Big Surprise Day- part 1

So after not hearing from my boyfriend for a good 24 hours. I still didn't have a clue what today would entail. I decided to give him a call and he has quite simply told me we are going for a freaking meal. Not gonna lie but I am thoroughly disappointed. this day was his way of fixing this relationship showing that he does care and I am sorry if I sound ungrateful but a poxy meal!!!
Like I was expeccting a day of christmas shopping in Bristol or at least something a little bit more exciting than a meal at the quays. which by the way is where we always freaking go!!!!
At this present moment he has done nothing to say this relationship is good we are awesome if anything I feel as though he has put no thought or care into today.
This is so frustrating.
I will be back later.

As always
Love Hayley Beth XXX

An Update On My Dilema

So first of all a massive thank you to everyone who offered me your support. Sometimes it really does help to talk to complete strangers!!!
So I thought I would give you a little update on the situation.
Me and my boyfriend have talked and in all honesty at this present moment this relationship is coming to a crashing halt. It quite frankly does not work anymore.
But I have said that if things do not change with in a week then it will be for deffo over.
So far he has been quite good he texts when he says he will text ect but I still don't feel any different. There is still a part of me that knows that the good boyfriend act wont last. I know that if we stay together in a few weeks or a month things will go back to shit again.
But we will see. he is planning some sort of super surprise day on Tuesday so I will let you all now how that goes.

As always
Love Hayley Beth XXX

A Bit of a Dilema

Hi Guys!!!
So basically I need  bit of advice.
Right so my boyfriend works nights and when he isn't working he is asleep like he could be asleep for 24 hours. Now I understand that this means we wont see each other as much as would be desired but it has now got to the point where he no longer even so much as texts me to say hi or anything.
He just says 'well it ain't my fault im working'
Ok I understand you work but you get a break what is your excuse?
He also does not seem to care that we might not actually see each other for weeks at a time because all he does is sleep.
I really don't know what to do any more. Like I have tried. I stay up at night so that I can talk to him on his break and then he never calls and I then end up going to work the next day absolutely shattered.
It has also got to the point where I have given up making plans with him because he just never wakes up and ends up standing me up.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Please tweet me with your advice.

Thank you
Love Hayley Beth xxx