Here's To a New Chapter

So I apologise for not blogging for a good couple of months now. I guess I was a little preoccupied with life. But I am back and here to start a new chapter in my life. It is time to concentrate on me for a little while. You may be wondering what has brought this on well I have been going through some shit of recent. I won't go into details as that wouldn't be fair to others involved but I am now single and ready to move on in life. It has taken me a while to get to this point let me tell you I was more than ready to do a tell all blog but that would have most likely caused me more pain. But I have moved past that I am starting to regain my appetite I don't feel so sick with worry and upset any more (and I am thankful that I only puked once) and hopefully I will start sleeping properly again soon, waking up and over thinking the memories isn't good for anyone.
So what does this new chapter entail? Well first of all I am going to try and reconnect with my friends. I fee like I left them behind and going out will do me some good, I need some fun. This will all start with Saturday night, drinks with a good friend who is back from uni for the weekend.
Secondly I am going to work my butt off to be successful. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet, I want a job that I enjoy getting up in the morning to go to, that has a benefit to others rather than pushing a silly credit card and telling people to have a good day after purchasing their granny pants.
Next I am going to live a little. I am going to travel. Well when I say travel I mean get on a train to Stoke for a long weekend to visit a friend. But it will be a new experience for me and memories will be created and I will learn and grow from the experience.
Lastly I am going to forge friendships with people from my past and those in my future. I want to make amends with those who I no longer talk to even if they have hurt me in the past or the last month. I struggle to make connections with people so to lose them is hard.
I am also going to try and not become so easily attached to people. When I meet someone I like I fall like a lead balloon head over heels. In future I need to take a step back because when that person leaves I always feel lost, unable to remember how to live without them. I have been struggling, when you are used to seeing someone everyday it is hard to remember how to the simplest of things by yourself like shopping or going to MacDonalds.
If someone is reading this I just want them to know that no matter how much I have been hurting my love hasn't dwindled not an ounce. I have been told your first love stays in your heart forever because that is the person who showed you that you have the ability to love another when you felt like it was an impossible feat. At first everything around you will remind you of that person but you have to remember that memories are just that they aren't emotions or feelings they are a snapshot of time that you will encapsulate for eternity. You will look back one day and think gosh I miss those days but they taught me to be the person you are today. but remember all the hurt will be worth it in the end because someone will come along and mend your broken heart and make you whole again. It may take many broken hearts to find this person but it will happen one day a prince will ride up on his white stallion and rid you of all those idiots on donkeys.
By far this has been my hardest blog to write, I wont lie I have cried a lot while putting it together but hopefully this will be the end of those tears and the start of happiness and laughter.
As always 
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Love, A New Me and An Evil Notebook

Well hello there!!!
So I have to apologise for my last blog it wasn't my finest hour but I guess it just shows that I am human! Anyway I thought I would just tell you what I have been up to recently!
As I have mentioned in previous blogs I have a boyfriend. So here are a few things about him. His name is harry, he is obsessed with skateboards and  motorbikes, he supports Birmingham City and he tells awful jokes. currently I haven't heard from him since Monday. And it is killing me. most people will think so what it ain't that long but when you are used to hearing from someone everyday it sucks. This is all because he is currently on a residential as part of his Princes Trust course. I miss him so much and time seems to be going by so slowly without him. I often worry that my constant need to hear from him is holding him back especially when he is with his new friends from the princes trust like he is moving on in life and I am just stuck where I am.
So that got deep. so what else have I been up to? Well I had a day off on Tuesday so I got all dressed up and went shopping. I have to say I felt far more confident in myself wearing nice clothes and make-up so I dunno this is the new me!!!

While I  was out shopping I found this really cute notebook with the words evil plans and stuff written on the front. As soon as I saw it I thought of my best friend and fellow blogger Kirstie (check out her latest blog here). She is absolutely nutty so when I see here next she has herself a little present lol!

I also bought myself a cute bag and purse from BHS and a skirt also from BHS. I paid for them using my star of the month gift card (that's right I am awesome at work lol!!!)
Tomorrow I am heading over to my Big brothers house for a day of movies, munchies and possibly a McDonalds.
So yeah I don't have the most exciting life but it is my life and well I love it!!!
So um yeah thanks for reading!!!
Love Hayley Beth xxx

How I Feel Right Now

Some days I want a big hole to appear and swallow me up. That is how I feel right now. Life should be good. I have a job, a great guy who loves me, a house to live in and a great group of friends. I have also recently got back in touch with a very good friend from school. The trouble is I have parents. Parents who disapprove of every step I make and every breath I take. At 18 there isn't a whole lot I can do to get out of this situation. Nobody in there right mind would rent a room t an 18 year old so I'm kinda stuck here in this living hell hole.
Because of this I rarely spend any time at home I'm either at work or with my boyfriend who I am pretty sure my parents hate mainly because he is my boyfriend.
I probably wont eat a meal tonight because that would mean me eating my parents food yet I pay £200 keep the majority of the time I am confined to what is actually available for my consumption. When my mother does cook it isn't proper meals beans on toast, a veggie burger, the odd jacket potato.
I can no longer live like this. Being hated isn't a nice feeling. In fact it makes you want to end your existence (notice I did not put life, this is not some suicidal plea for help, this is simply me saying I do not wish to live this kind of life any more), start all over again, be a new person away from the shit. As soon as I can I will leave this life an never return to it. Will I miss it? Probably but it will pass I have to learn to grow into the person I want to be not the person I have to be.
I am sorry that this is incredibly depressing and many others have it much worse but needed to get this all off my chest.
Love Hayley Beth xxx

I Can Bake...Kind of

So while I was working the other day I saw that we were selling whoopie pie makers for only £5 so I bought one!!!
Because of this I went round to my boyfriends to make whopie pies!!! It took us about three hours to make them but  that is because we are quite simply awful at baking!!!
So here is the cheats way of making some interesting whoopie pies!!!

What you will need:

1 whoopie pie maker

100g butter

150g 70% chocolate

200g sugar

3 free range eggs

1tsp vanilla extract

30g cocoa powder

200g self raising flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

How to make them:

Melt the butter and  chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water making sure the bottom or the bowl does not touch the water. Keep stirring gently so that the chocolate does not burn.

Whisk the sugar, eggs and vanilla until a you get a mixture that is thick and pale in colour.

Fold the chocolate mixture into the sugar and eggs.

Sieve in the flour, baking powder and cocoa powder and fold gently ensuring you do not over the mix the mixture.

Evenly distribute the mixture into the cases and cook for 3 minutes!!!

Pink marshmallow frosting:

What you will need:

100g softened butter

200g icing sugar

2tbsp milk

1tbsp vanilla extract

100g marshmallows

pink food colouring

How to make it:

Mix together the butter, sugar, milk and vanilla until smooth. Add the food colouring until you reach your desired shade of pink.

Gently melt the marshmallows in the microwave until they are slightly melted and start to puff up.

Add the marshmallows to the icing an mix till fully combined.

The frosting should be thick and light.

We made a little too much frosting so decorated the top with it and so pink sprinkles. I have to say although they may not have looked the best the sure were yummy!!!


As always thank you for reading
Love Hayley Beth

Thanks For Not Sucking As Friends

As I am writing this I am sat in a cafe next to the sea drinking a hot chocolate. That's right I am on holiday!!! Now I wanted to write this blog because I am missing my two best friends. 

They are called Harry and Ricki.

Ricki is like a big brother to me which is great because I don't have a brother of my own. We have talked about Australian guys till the early hours of the morning and I have given him relationship advice (although bad advice as I haven't a clue when it actually comes to relationships). I have told him the stuff I would never be able to tell another sole but I can trust him. I don't know what I would do with out him.

Harry is my best buddy. we do pretty much everything together we go shopping, watch films, he meets me for lunch. Considering I used to think he was an annoying kid our relationship has changed a heck of a lot. 

Because of my friendship with these two amazing guys a lot of rumours have been started. the biggest one being that I fancied Ricki which would be wrong on so many levels especially as he is practically my brother. But what you have to understand is that most rumours are started by jelous people. many people do not have the kind of friendship that we have. 

I have made so many memories with these guys and that has just been in the past few months. My favourite memory is what I like to call the Ice Gem and Donkey incident. We had just been to see the amazing movie that is 22 Jump Street when Ricki did the clever thing of making a comment about this guys shirt. Now this guy didn't hear this comment but his short friend did. Now this short guy decided to pipe up and fight a battle that wasn't his to  fight. After he had finished we walked off but he did the lovely thing of telling his buddy. This consequently caused us to be followed. Now you are going to think there was some massive show down and punches were thrown, but no. All they wanted was an apology. And that is what they got. I was pretty disappointed with that anti climax!!!

I can talk to these guys about anything from guys to marvel films. I love them they are my favourite people and I love them.

Now you are probably thinking that i am going to tell you that this shows that guys and girls can be friends without anything romantic happening. But I can not. 

As always 

Love Hayley Beth XXX

It's a catasThore

OK yes I know that is an absolutely awful title but I had to do it!!!
So I am sure most of you will have heard about marvels latest decisions regarding certain characters. I have to say I am immensely disappointed in their decision to make Thor a girl. especially as there main reason is gender equality. How is removing one gender and replacing it with another equal?
It is not.
Instead they should promote their current female characters such as Black Widow, Captain Marvel and Psylocke.
I have also been notified of another change being made to Captain America. The change of race is incredibly inaccurate because why would the government choose to make a person of African heritage a super soldier in a time where Negroes were faced with immense discrimination? It is factually very inaccurate. again they could create new characters or promote existing characters such as Luke Cage, Storm and Amadeus Cho.
Because of these decisions myself and some friends have decided to attempt to take some form of action. I have set up a petition on a brilliant plat form called change.org. Every time someone signs the petition Marvel will recieve an email informng them on this.
So this blog is a call for help. A plea even. Please even if you don't care about marvel please sign my petition. This is about more than some characters this is about trying to capitalise on anti-discrimination. Plus by marvel making these decisions it means that we will no longer be able to watch the beautiful Chris Hemsworth dressed as a Norse God.
So please click here and add your name to the growing list of supporters.
As always thank you for reading. A lot of you will not understand how excited i get every time someone reads this!!!
Love Hayley Beth xxx

A Pressure To Compete

Recently I went back to one of my old stomping grounds; Gloucester AC. For about three or four years I trained with the middle distance group at Blackbridge Athletics Track. Running is in my blood, both my parents run and my dad is a coach. I used to run at least four times a week. But it took me five minutes to remember why I stopped.
The head coach gave a speech on the importance of competing on behalf of the club. He basically said if you do not compete you cannot train. And this is simply the clubs down fall. many young people; girls especially do not want to compete. They want to keep fit and have fun. 
With such a big obesity problem in the UK with around 20% of all children in year six being obese and a further 14% over weight, shouldn't we be focusing on on combating that rather than winning competitions and killing morale when these young people don't win.
Because of the pressure to compete I started to hate running. I never felt like I was good enough and eventually this transpired in my running. I was soon not able to even run a mile without stopping purely because I gave in to that little voice in my head that said "why do you even bother yo are crap at this you are crap at every thing". 
So I quit. 
It had been nearly two years since I left when I visited last week. In two years the group has grown with only two people left that I know. A couple of the people who I used to train with now run for team GB. A new track has been built with competition level facilities and a new club house is waiting to be built. 
It is not the same club that I left but in many respects it is the very same club with the same flaws and attributes.
If I could I would set up my own training group that is open to any one of any walk of life. There would be no pressure to compete but if you did want to compete you would be fully supported in that quest. The aim of the group would to bring about social cohesion whilst trying to combat the obesity problem that plagues our fair country and many others. Only this is a very lucrative dream. I do not have the qualifications first of all nor do I have the time or money to set up and support such a feat.

I would just like to say thank you to those who gave me feedback on my last blog it was immensely over whelming to hear that my blog had inspired and related to so many people. 
But as always thank you for reading
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Colour Blind

What does it mean to be colour blind? Well usually it means you are unable to distinguish any or certain colours. But in this case I am using the term colour blind as a metaphor. 
Have you ever felt a time where you have finally seen a persons true colours and they are not truly the person you believed them to be? Have you ever had a guy take you out for lunch and treat you like a lady to actually find out all they want is sex? Have you ever thought you could spend the rest of your life with someone only to discover that when you walk away that person will do and say anything in the hope that you will go straight back to them?
If you have been through anything like this I am proud to say you are no longer colour blind to that particular person. Unfortunately it is incredibly likely to happen again. 
But why do people do this? Why can they not be up front about who they really are or what they really want? I personally think it is because if they were to be true to themselves they wouldn't even get close to what they want because don't want to know someone of that character, they want to associate themselves with kind honest people. I also believe it is because some people want to be something they are just incapable of being. they want  to  be a true gentleman but their needs take presidents and needs tend to come before wants.
You may be wondering why I am talking about this subject. Well that is because recently I have been able to see many peoples true colours. Sometimes it didn't bother me so much but other caused me a lot of pain and emotion. But what I have learnt from this is that I have truly discovered the people who matter to me the most, the guys that will never leave my side. It has also showed me that no matter who I meet I always have to give them the real me. Yes they may not like it but I would rather they saw Hayley the bitch and liked me than having to keep up a façade to please them.

This blog has been a long time in the making and those closest to me will know the root to this subject.
Thank you for reading and I am hoping to post a new blog at least once a week from now on.

 














As always 
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Free As A Bird

So today I took my final ever exam!!!
I have to say it went rather well or at least I hope it did. I was lucky and got two questions on human rights and then two very nice questions about NCS.
Any way a lot has happened since I last blogged over two months ago now I think. so here goes:

• I was called a psychotic bitch by someone who doesn't really know me
• I had my hair highlighted for the first time
• I helped plan a sixth form party which has now been cancelled
• I may or may not of temporarily stole a teachers trainers in order to get the netball trophy back
• I have managed to put on a stone and 2 pounds 
• and finally I am going to be leaving school on Monday

I also think I lost a good friend. Lets call her Annie. Annie and I have been really goo friends these past two years and although we had our ups and down I think I could always depend on her to be their for me and visa versa. But this week she has been rather challenging. In fact I guess you could say I feel like all my efforts to help her have been thrown back in my face. You see she is a textiles student and that means all of her work has to go up in an exhibition. Now Annie whose work may I add is amazing, was rather slow to do this. Some of her work was actually incomplete. Being the person I am (I feel bad when people who I care about do not fulfil their potential) I tried to help her get it all up and when I moaned at her for not completing it she, well she disappeared. She did the rather childish thing of hiding in teachers class rooms. It really upset me because the only reason why I had attended school that day was to help her get her final bits up on her board. I well I have now given up on her because in a way she seem like a bit of a lost cause always pushing away help when people attempt to give it to her and then trying to get all the attention she possibly can when she knows she is in the wrong.

Any way on to my future. I am currently looking for full time employment, preferably with in human resources as this for some strange reason that not many people can get their heads around I really enjoy it. Strange huh!!!  I am also hoping to do NCS which is a great programme aimed at 16-17 year olds. Basically it is two weeks away from home at residential's and then you do about a week helping out in your community and making a difference. You also get to go to one big graduation party!!! In my local area of Gloucester you have to pay £35 but this is given back to you on completion of the programme. This scheme is only available in England and Northern Ireland so sorry to all you guys around the word!!!

I would also like to work at Glastonbury Festival with Greenpeace next year and I would also love to work as a councillor at Camp America. 
I hope you guys will continue to follow me on my adventures in the coming years and I thank you for all the support you have given me through this blog by just reading it.

As always my lovelies
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Just a few new bands...

Hey!!!
How are you???
I have been listening to a few new bands recently so I thought I would share them with you in my last bblog until I finish my exams!!!
So first up is Massmatiks. I discovered these guys while watching a documentary from a while back on BBC iplayer. They are an indie/rock band from Guildford. Massmatiks are made up of George Peploe, Joe Turner, Martin Linch and Joe Stagg. My favourite song of theirs is probably independence (a lack of).
Check out their facebook page here for a free download!!!

So next up is Late Nite Reading. These guys are a pop/punk band from Indianapolis, USA. I found out about this band when they did the lovely thing of following me on twitter!!! Late Nite Reading is made up of Dalton Wixom, Brady Szuhai, Drew Cottrell and Clayton Collins. My favourite song of theirs is definitely Rumour which you can download for free here!!!!

Another band that found me on twitter is Something Like Kites. Something Like Kites is a one man pop band from Canada. You can download some free tracks on his facebook page so check him out!!!

I hope you enjoy these guys as much as I have and I will be back in a few months time. I have decided to take some time out from my blog to concentrate on my final exams. This is so I can get the best grades possible in order to get further in life without going to university. So wish me luck!!! If you want to keep updated on what I am up to follow me on twitter @lovehayleybeth and please email me with suggestions on what I should write a blog on in the future at lovehayleybeth@gmail.com
As always
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Etsy Finds: Adnil Creations

Hello!!!
This months Etsy Pick is Adnil Creations . Adnil Creations create vinyl stickers for your home and car bumper. they have been operating since November of 2013 and in that time they have sold over 180 stickers.
I had a great experience with Adnil Creations, they are really friendly and are always happy to receive your own designs or for you to adapt their existing designs. I wanted a Vampire Academy sticker for my laptop. Because Vampire academy is not really that big yet commercially I had to request a custom design. I received it today and I am immensely proud with it. It took me a while to transfer the sticker to my laptop but it was worth it in the end.
If you have any Etsy stores you think I should review please send them to lovehayleybeth@gmail.com with the subject line Etsy Finds.
As always
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Etsy Finds: Unusual Orange

I recently discovered etsy.com and I have to say I have fallen in love with what I have found. Because of this I have decide to promote my favourite stores in a post once a month.

This months pick is the Unusual Orange. Unusual orange pride themselves on being able to make original pieces that are loved by a wide range of people. They are based in Barry in Wales and is run by Dean Morgan. Unusual Orange make and sell a wide range of products from dog collars to jewellery. Their statement piece though would be their orange jelly bean keyring. This is their biggest seller having sold a total of six of them since joining etsy in June of 2013. All of their products are made from polymer clay making them durable and long lasting. 
I have had a great experience with the Unusual Orange. For my sisters 16th birthday I wanted to get her something a little special and when I stumbled upon this store I thought I had struck gold!!! The unusual Orange make several food themed products. All of these items are also very reasonably priced with prices starting from £3. One such product is their Bourbon Biscuit keyring. My sister absolutely loves bourbons so when I saw this I knew she would love it!!! To make it that little bit more special I decided to get it personalised with her name being on the biscuit. The customer service I received through out the entire process was exemplary and due to this I will definitely be buying from them again. What makes your order even more special is the way it is sent to you. Enclosed with your item are several orange flavoured jelly beans. This gives it that personal touch you do not get from many places any more. 
Please make sure you check the store out and I will be back next month with another one of my Etsy Picks!!!
As always 
Love Hayley Beth xxx

Need to rant

So this is going to be a bit like my diary and I am just going to rant about my life right now. And I know many of you will think your life isn't all that bad blah blah blah but for me it is. So here goes...
I have been arguing with my parents a lot recently, so much that I am on the verge of being kicked out (or am but currently have no where to go so they are stuck with me). I don't know what it is we argue about, if I am honest it is pretty much them telling me how I have no respect and how I am a complete failure at life and me zoning out because it is like a broken record.
They are also having a go at me because I do not eat 'properly'. Now this is purely because I was working late last night so I had a meal deal from the co-op instead of a cooked meal. Since when did not having a cooked meal mean I am not eating properly? Surely she should be more concerned about world poverty or global warming rather than my consumption!!!
So what has come out of these arguments you may ask? Well as soon as I finish my A Levels I am going to try and get a full time job and consequently move out. So I am currently looking into the idea of a flat share but I will only be able to move out if I can get regular full time hours otherwise I am stuck in this hell hole.
Sorry for such an uplifting blog (sarcasm intended) and hopefully I can report on something more interesting than my existence next time.
As always
Love Hayley Beth xxx

P.S. just an update on Tides fundraising campaign; they managed to raise a whopping £1806 beating their target of £1500.

Graze Box

Today I thought I would share a little freebie with you guys. For the last month I have been getting a graze box. I actually love it!!! So because of it I thought that I would give you guys a little present!!! I have a special offer for you that means you can have your 1st, 5th and 10th box free. You can get the box as often as every week or just once a month. You can get snacks ranging from seed and nut selections to their very own special brownie. For a mere fiver you really cannot go wrong.

Get me a graze box!!!!!
So just click on the link above an away you go!!!
I hope you enjoy your box as much as I have been enjoying mine!!!!
As always
Love Hayley Beth
P.S. can I just say a big thank you to everyone who read my last blog it means a great deal as it was something that was personal to me and the fact that it has the most views out of any of my blogs is an amazing feat. But if you haven't read it yet here it is!!!!

MCM Comic Con Telford

So on Saturday the 15th of February I went to comic con with my friend Josh. It was bloody amazing. I got to meet the lovely Hannah Spearritt. I may of got a tad star struck lol!!! 

But this blog isn't really about what an amazing day it was and all the funky costumes I saw. No this blog is about how that friend Josh hurt me. 

I guess you could say that Saturday was our first official date, we had been I guess seeing each other for around two months. I really liked him and I thought he liked me too. After I got home on saturday I received a text and this is what it said:

i think it would be good for you to know i've decided on what i want, but im not sure how to put it... i think we should just be friends as i cherish this friendship a lot and don't want to lose it. i'm afraid if something happened we wouldn't like each other. i hope this doesn't upset you after a brilliant day, thank you for understanding and thank you for today i appreciate it :)

That text ruined my day. He lead me on the whole time. The trouble is I don't hate him like I probably should, I hate the way he made me feel. I always new nothing would come of this. I would have been deluding my self otherwise. But even so this text came as a complete shock to me I didn't know what to think to I lied and said:

That's absolutely fine

I was not fine, I felt empty inside. I cried myself to sleep that night and woke up the next day still crying. I felt so pathetic crying over a school girl crush. Because that is essentially what it was. I am sure that many of you know what i am feeling right now...that is  if anyone actually gives a damn about this blog. 

So to end this here are a couple of photos from Saturday!!!

As always 

Love Hayley Beth Xxx

Tides

Hey guys!!!

Tides

So from this blog's title it wouldn't surprise me if some of you thought I was going to rant about the sea or something but that is not the case. This is less of a rant but more of a plea. As some of you know I am pretty big fan of the band Tides. They are currently trying to raise funds to be able to tour the country and release a load of new music. To do this they have decided to offer their fans some fantastic opportunities to get involved. They have done this buy signing up to a website called Fan Republic. On this website you have the chance to purchase loads of great merchandise and exclusives. I have done my bit by buying a merchandise bundle for only £15. Prices start at only £1 and go up to £350 for a private gig (if only I could afford that one!!!). They need to raise £1500 and if they don't reach that target by the 2nd of march all monies will be refunded. Please help them out I know it would mean the world to many people around the country!!!
http://www.fanrepublic.co.uk/bands/tides/
http://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialTides
https://www.facebook.com/officialtides?fref=ts
https://twitter.com/tidesofficial
Please check them out on the above links and help their campaign.
As always
Love Hayley Beth xxx

...chicken

So I was looking for inspiration as to what to write this long awaited blog and a friend of mine said chicken... so here goes...
I decided to Google 'chicken' and see what news stories came up.  so the first on is entitled: search for owner of chicken nicknamed Zsa Zsa Gabor found wandering streets of Bardon. This comes from The australian. Zsa Zsa was found just walking along a street on January the 9th by a photographer. The owner still hasn't been found and is currently being looked after at the Brisbane Bird Vet in Chermside. So if you have lost a chicken in Australia this could be yours...
OK so the next story is 'teen banned from chicken keeping after chicken deaths in copthorne'... So a lovely 19 year old decided to starve his chickens to death... What a lovely person...
And now for a beagle stealing chicken nuggets...

as always 
Love Hayley Beth xxx